Game Writer and Narrative Designer
Melting in Disarray
I look up to the ominous gray sky, which gently and slowly rains down small crystal flakes.
Then I look around me and I notice I am surrounded by white blankets of snow with no end.
I run through the cold land, desperately seeking something or someone to save me from my lost and lonely state.
The flakes of ice blow wildly and fall a little faster. The wind forces me to turn my gaze to the horizon of the land.
A shadow appears. It trudges toward me, not bothered by the incoming wind.
Behind me, two children run blissfully, not knowing the melancholy fate that would soon engulf them in the cold.
Yet, they disappear in a split second as though they never existed in this frigid wasteland.
The silhouette is only meters away... feet... and my vision becomes accustomed to the sudden color.
A girl who has black hair like mine and is only inches shorter than me tilts her head to look into the brown depths of my eyes.
I've seen her before. She is not a stranger or friend. Her identity dismays me and startles me.
With the blank expression which hides tidal waves of sadness she just gazes at me and reveals what happened.
This girl was just separated from those she cared about and like me was completely lost. Lost and lonely.
The regret returns and haunts me again as I try to hold her in my arms.
However, she dissolves into golden orbs of light and I try to grab her again.
Just so I could warn her about the pain and dark emotions that would collide with her in such a short, yet long time.
The soft snow met my knees and hands as I situated myself in the nostalgia.
I turn my gaze behind me once more and an evergreen pine forest greets my eyes.
Not caring about my frozen shins I dash to the forest, more anxious than afraid.
I'm lost again, but now in a frosty forest. The wind calms down and the flakes just brush me again.
I catch sight of a deer and a few more animals. The fact living creatures are here relieves me.
But I realize immediately they are illusions as I try to reach out to them like I did the girl.
I am drawn deeper into the forest and I encounter a frozen pond with a prism-like pillar shooting up from it.
My right hand becomes entranced and seizes the light within the pillar.
I am absorbed by the prism of light and my life plays out in the form of a cinematic record.
Everything is too fast, make it stop. My life is going by too fast, please slow down.
My demands and heartbeats quickened to the point I had no control.
I surrendered to the flashing record and closed my eyes as though my end was waving to me menacingly.
Am I dead? No I'm still in the snow and am gradually being buried.
Rin and Len return to my memory in the snow and I try to stand, but it's futile.
My waist was covered already and my hands and legs were falling into the same fate.
Then something urges me, "Wake up." Someone calls to me, "Wake up."
Another shadow who's calling to me in a soundless voice. How can I hear it?
The dream will end and I must wake up... Lost...
About the Piece
I wrote this piece during a pen pal email exchange I shared with a friend who I met once at a summer camp and bonded with over Japanese music, specifically Vocaloid and Utaite songs. The song that I wrote this piece in response to was a music box version of the Vocaloid song "Meltdown" that my friend sent (Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrjwqx9EU7I). What stood out to both of us was that this version of the song was calm and slow in contrast to the original's quick and frantic melody. We both ended up writing our own pieces based on our experiences listening to the music box version.
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Looking back, I think this was the first time that I allowed myself to be vulnerable in my prose. This was written during the summer in between 8th grade and 9th grade for me, which was a small chapter in a time that expressing my emotions was difficult for me since I was taught to suppress my more intense emotions for the sake of academic and extracurricular success at school.